The alleged suicide of Kate Spade has haunted me since it was announced Tuesday morning. Here was a multi talented lady, married to same person for 24 years, lovely 13 year old daughter, wealth, and yet was in so much pain that taking her life would be the only way to bring her relief.

Her handbags are loved by women of all ages, her home decor items are successful beyond words, her fragrance does very well, any of her accessory items get sold out in a flash, success for the Kate Spade line is an understatement. Her bright colors and their combinations are all so aesthetically pleasing it brought a smile to your face. She gave a handbag life, yet she took her own life.

There may be some who think, man it can’t be that bad with all that money that you would commit suicide, but we all know what the truth is, no matter how much you have accomplished professionally, successful marriage, adorable child , and wealth, it will not protect you from being clinically depressed, and in this case the pain was unbearable. I did read a bit of what Mr. Spade said and apparently lately they felt living apart would help their marriage for now.

Her depression would explain the rare interviews there were as I have no doubt the thought of doing one was a huge challenge with her diagnosis. I believe there were conflicting stories of whether she was in treatment or not. Apparently she felt that if it got out that she was depressed and sought professional help , this would hurt the new business that had been created. Seems anything this woman touched became a success. Yes, and we can say as it has been said before a hundred times, what a waste to loose such talent. Many of us look for just one, and she had many.

I think why this is haunting me is because the pain was so severe that she felt this was the only option. The overwhelming pain and suffering she felt was so acute, that one has to know she must have been in agony, and then she hung herself. This has brought back the memories of the oh so talented Robin Williams, a genius brain that did not stop creating. Another talented loss.

I suppose the other thing I wanted to say is in our own lives, if ever there is a family member or friend who gives any small indication that suicide is the answer, and it might be said in a hundred different ways, and if we are not paying attention we will miss what they are trying to tell us. And please to say it is not of my business, oh yes it is, and it is our obligation to let this person know we are here for them. Isn’t this what it is all about. Sometimes it only takes one person to let a clinically depressed individual know that we really honestly care what happens to them, it could save someone’s life.

Another saying we have all heard but is appropriate for this situation is, God gave you two ears and one mouth, shut up and listen to what is being said to you.

For anyone who is in pain reach out, you may not think so, but there are many who care about you and love you and want to do whatever they can to help you. They will make themselves available, all you have to do is ask. No one should suffer to the point that suicide is the answer.

We have all had some stuff in our lives that we thought would never end. You see a light at the end of the tunnel and its an oncoming train. And you think , when will my life get put back together, I feel like Humpty Dumpty and will I ever be put back together again, but  eventually things work out and you get back on track again. And we all have someone we talked to and that is also the time you find out who your friends really are. Sad but true. I remember when I lost my job in 2011, when I turned around there were very few who stood by me and I will never forget them the rest of my life, and for those who suddenly disappeared after years of “friendship” and those who tried to creep back in when I was on track again, go to hell.

I seem to be filled with so many trite sayings, but they pretty much cover the subject at hand. It seems to me the world is not friendly anymore. My gosh, people don’t even know their neighbors these days.

But I still believe that for every one out there, there are those who will stick by you and love you and care about you, just give them a chance. I have rambled and I apologize for that, I just wrote as the thought popped in my brain.

Stay safe and well out there

Shirley